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I want to get better. I really do. But I don't like the funny way those pills wiggle down my throat and crawl around inside my tummy.I don't really think the maggots want me to get better. They're mean and nasty. They're back now, you know. There are more of them now then ever before. And I don't even have to dream about them. They don't say a word, but they appear to like my shit now. I just wish they'd go away and leave me alone.The people here think I'm mad. I think that's why all the walls in my room are so soft. I hate to disappoint them, since they've been so good to me while I've been here. But I'm not mad - I know it. Hell, I'm not even angry... unless it's at those hellspawn maggots. I really wish they'd let some other people see them.They've let me continue writing, you know. They say it's good for me. But for a while, they'd taken away all my best pencils. They said something strange about not wanting me playing with sharp objects. During that time when I didn't have my. "He paused and looked around the room. "Why did He do this? For God soloved the Samaritans that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoeverbelieveth in him should not perish but have everlasting life." He pausedagain and very slowly said: "For God so loved the L-G-B-T-Q that he gavehis only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perishbut have everlasting life."Pastor looked down at the floor for a few seconds and then back up at us."Show of hands; has God called any of you San Fransisco? Or led any of youto Dallas or Houston or Austin to pass out tracts at the gay prideparades?"He pretended to look for hands. "No? You know He is fully capable oftaking away all we have and driving us to them, but he hasn't done that.He has, if we truly believe in the providence of God, driven one of themto us. God has given us an open door which we would never even seek to gothrough if left to ourselves. He has given us poor beggars the opportunityto show another poor beggar where to.
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